Money. It Isn't Everything.

Well. That working outside the home business didn't work well for us at all. So, I quit my job and I'm happily back at home.

You'd be wrong if you think I didn't appreciate the opportunity. I'm glad to have earned enough money to get a couple of debts paid off and a nice emergency savings account started. But as the quantity in our bank account rose, the quality of our home life declined. For two, probably related, reasons:

First, Shane and I weren't getting along well. Those of you who know us in person know that Shane and I rarely have even the most minor of arguments. That's not to say we don't disagree, because we do. Quite often, in fact. But it's always been something we could laugh off in the past. Unfortunately, while I was working, we weren't laughing about much of anything anymore. Neither was Kat. We found ourselves scolding her for acting out, when probably all she really needed was more sleep (I was getting her up at 5:30 a.m. while I was working) and more attention from us.

Second, I had absolutely no time to myself while I was working. I'm an introvert and I need time alone just as extroverts need to be with other people. When I'm alone is when I have a chance to "recharge my batteries", so to speak. I just wasn't getting that time to myself when I was working. Unlike other jobs I've had, this one required 100% focus on the work at all times. I couldn't even disengage for a few minutes by daydreaming. It was mentally exhausting.

I found myself getting up earlier and earlier and had finally carved a 30-minute span of solitude between 4:00 and 4:30 in the morning. But it just wasn't enough. By the end of the ten weeks I was at work, I was running on empty. I managed to keep the family clothed and fed, but had almost no compassion or patience for them otherwise. I simply didn't have anything left to give.

After about a week back at home, I'm feeling like a much better person.

For more than half a year, I've been trying to find a suitable job that coincides with the daycare's hours and doesn't require weekends or an hour-long commute. I'm tired of it. So, unless I just happen to notice an opening for something (very) part-time nearby, my job search is over. I'm very happy to stay home and do what I can to save money, rather than be out trying to earn it. With Shane's full support.

I'm the last person to subscribe to the chauvinistic phrase that "a woman's place is in the home". But it does seem to be my place.